dead stars?

now that i think about it.. i really don't know you at all! we've never really been close except for a few phone conversations, gift givings, text messages, days confessions.. that's it. i've never really spent time with you.. so why am i so hung up on you when i don't even know you? why do i have this immense feeling of wanting to see you, to be with you, to have you? hmm is it because i wasn't able to have you? a challenge for me!? hay i'm so weird why haven't i realized this before? maybe its because i was too caught up in the moment, the feeling of unrequited love.. haha i'm a sadistic person! you are the person that launched more than a dozen poems, an ocean of tears, a notebook full of scribbles, sleepless nights, senti song listenning, stalking, quote sending, missed calls.. you are my muse! haha i should be thankful to you because you made me want to write. without you, i wouldn't have written these poems, hehe i also wouldn't have started this blog. but what disturbs me is that i'm doing, enduring all these for you, a person i don't even know or not close to! someone whom i'm too shy to approach or talk to.. someone who would make me melt just by talking to me and saying hi.. haha words fail me when i'm with you.. hay i feel this is all an illusion.. i think you're my dead star, but as of now i am still engrossed in your bright light.. i still can't get over. there are times when i wonder why i feel this way.. what is it about you that makes me feel this way, what is it about you that makes you worthy of all this? most of the time i have no idea at all. i mean we are so different from each other! sometimes i feel that there is no connection between us, that we can never get along.. but that's my rationality speaking. and then when i see you, all these thoughts instantly vanish and everything just feels so right..so perfect. that you are the only one that will make me the happiest person in the universe. i am so malabo!!!