Now she has her own late night talk show on E! and she released a book entitled “My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands.” Heh. I wish I could get a copy of her book or see her show but alas the downside of not living in the US.. Thank goodness for youtube though because a lot of her hilarious clips/sketches are posted there. Her deadpan and brash delivery just cracks me up every time.
Even just reading about her quotable quotes makes me chuckle and even snort hehe. Here are some quotes that I found funny:
“I went out with a guy who once told me I didn’t need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told him, ‘I’m drinking so that you’re more fun to be around.’
She also did a hilarious rant about her friends and their babies. “My friend keeps saying its so hard to lose this baby weight. I’m like, your baby is seven. You’re just fat.”
"Rumer Willis was having a great time at the opening of a club when her twin walked in, also known as her dad, Bruce Willis. How embarrassing for her, she's out with her friends and they're like, 'Umm, Rumer, I think your dad put something in my drink.' "
"Nicole Richie's baby shower is going to be this Sunday at 12:30 in the afternoon. It should be a very special event—many of these people are going to be seeing each other for the first time in broad daylight."
"A federal grand jury is investigating allegations that David Copperfield raped, assaulted and threatened a woman he took to his private island in the Bahamas in July. What happened to the good old days when a guy would just saw you in half?"
The incident that is most often mentioned in her book took place in Cabo San Lucas and involved a midget, a lot of tequila, a blackout and waking up to the pitter-patter of little feet. "I was so confused,” Handler writes, "At first I thought, Oh great, I had a baby...”
heh. I so love her :)
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