Closure

It all feels like a dream. I can't believe that a person can gain and lose everything in one day. One day. What's surprising is I didn't even cry. I couldn't cry. My eyes were dry and my chest felt tight, like something was stuck deep inside it. I feel like I've swallowed all my tears and now they're weighing me down. From the outside, one would assume that everything was okay, that I was fine. But i don't know why I just have this cramped up feeling. I'm really confused. But I am sure it wasn't love that I felt, it's too soon for that. But I did feel something. And now that it's gone, I just feel so down, something just keeps on bugging me. I don't feel at peace with myself. There's a part of me that wants to pursue this, to hell with everything but the other part is just too scared and confused. A part of me wants to be selfish and the other, to be responsible and mature. I just need closure I guess. Not just closure from this but, from everything.